The period known as the Three Weeks marks a time of mourning over a series of tragedies that befell our nation, foremost among them the destruction of both the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem.

From Rosh Chodesh Av—the final stretch of the Three Weeks—the mourning intensifies during what is known as the Nine Days. The added restrictions include refraining from eating meat and drinking wine (or grape juice).1

Seemingly, the reason for this restriction is that these foods are typically associated with celebration. But this raises a question: A mourner is not prohibited from eating meat or drinking wine during the week of shivah.2 So why are these items restricted during the Nine Days?

The Loss of the Temple Service

The Talmud relates that following the destruction of the Second Temple, many Jews adopted an ascetic lifestyle, and stopped eating meat or drinking wine year-round as an expression of mourning.3

Rabbi Yehoshua approached them and asked, “My children, why do you refrain from eating meat and drinking wine?”

They responded, “How can we eat meat when the altar upon which meat was offered no longer exists? How can we drink wine when wine libations are no longer poured upon the altar?”

Rabbi Yehoshua acknowledged their pain, but explained that such mourning could not be sustained. If we were to fully abstain from everything connected to the Temple, we would be forced to give up many aspects of life—bread, water, Torah study, marriage—each of which had some role in the Temple service.

He concluded that the mourning enacted by the Sages is sufficient, and should not be exceeded.

Nevertheless, during the Nine Days, when our national mourning intensifies and we focus specifically on the loss of the Temple and its service, it is appropriate to abstain from meat and wine—foods directly associated with the Temple offerings and libations.4

Fear of Forgetting the Mourning

A mourner who is immersed in grief over a recent loss is not at risk of forgetting their loss and needs no reminders. Thus, there is no problem with allowing them to indulge with meat and wine. When it comes to mourning the destruction of the Temple, however, it is easier to forget the tragedy, so we implement reminders such as refraining from meat and wine (foods that bring joy).5

Notable Exceptions

Consuming wine or meat on Shabbat, or as part of a meal that celebrates a mitzvah—such as a circumcision or the completion of a tractate of the Talmud (see Why Make a Siyum During the Nine Days?)—is not included in the restriction.

When it comes to Havdalah, the drink should (theoretically) be given to a young boy who is old enough to understand the concept of making blessings and can have in mind that he is listening to Havdalah, but is not yet old enough to grasp the concept of mourning.

This exact stage—probably somewhere around 7 or 8—is very hard to pin down, and many kids are sleeping by Havdalah time in the Northern Hemisphere. As such, it is perfectly OK for the adult making Havdalah to drink the wine himself without waking anyone up.

May we soon merit the fulfillment of the prophecy regarding these days of mourning: “I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and make them rejoice from their sorrow.” 6